I killed you…

I killed you in a dark mind

You’ll find,

not thinkin’ ‘bout you at all

Now you’ll never know

With gauze over my eyes

And sharpened claws over those

And clothes that needed washing

After constant blunt forced blows.

(It shows) I fucking said it shows

That love and lust are doors so closed

So much skin exposed

To the frigid cold and snows

While body starts to decompose

 

Under my microscope, you’re naked

Shaking, shaken down, organs pronounced

Liver spotted, lungs in jars in fluids drowning, drowned.

 

Who’s relief? when movement stops

Clitter clatter, the tool just drops

Because the song is over here.

But its clear I: Siiiing thiiiis soooong.

It’s been so long since the pound on the drums

And mother’s hymns and hums

Scared away the ghosts and phantoms

 

Thunder pounds in the ears,

hunger eating away at the fears

Humor found in those tears

And if you have the capacity, the gift,

You’ll find a deficit of human cares.

Thunder pounds in the ears,

hunger eating away at the fears

Humor found in those tears

And if you have the capacity, the gift,

You’ll find a deficit of human cares.

 

Boo, motherfuckers, I’m fucking coming for you

Who over the millennia has warned? Given clues?

Monsters don’t creep in shadows under beds

They crawl like infections in your fellow classmate’s heads

Dread the moment they come out

Catharsis heaves in screams and shouts

Disease can come in bouts

We kill the plant before it sprouts

Down, down, make it bound,

We don’t really need that evil sound.

Ah, ah, ah ow.

Tender, tender, pull and touch.

You’re forcing flesh and love too much

I’m feeling lazy, Dreams becoming hazy

Your eyes are driving me crazy, baby.

Save me.

I love you, martyr, every bit

I’m your favorite hypocrite

I emit the very drugs you take

I omit the cries that make you wake

Wake, wake, wake wake

 

Thunder pounds in the ears,

hunger eating away at the fears

Humor found in those tears

And if you have the capacity, the gift,

 You’ll find a deficit of human cares.

 

Drooping eyes are tired

Pretty colors not admired.

Deep felt kisses, stars hardwired

Twitching hands left undesired.

Moonlight romance,

Dark side drug trance

Nerve ending wheezing jump dance

Not making any damn sense

Isn’t that so beautiful,

That I can be so wise a fool?

Live in the starless vacuum

In eternal cosmic bend

Why does it even matter if

Entropy will get us all in the end

 

If the edge of men’s blades

Carried the blood of their loving

Is the problem worth solving

Does it matter if humanity fades?

Does it count if I can’t feel it?

Does it count if I can steal it?

Does it count if nothin’ heals it?

Does it pay to fuckin’ seal it?

What if all of her Siberia

Was just another fear within’ ya?

Would it really fuckin’ kill ya

To fake the sunshine within ya?

 

In all of that raw power

I tell the mirror to better cower

Never come down from that tower.

 

Is it really better now?

Can the sun come first before the clouds?

And the beating hearts leap bounds

The brain no longer barking hounds

It’s been so long since the pound on the drums

And mother’s hymns and hums

Scared away the ghosts and phantoms

 

Thunder pounds in the ears,

hunger eating away at the fears

Humor found in those tears

And if you have the capacity, the gift,

You’ll find a deficit of human cares.

Thunder pounds in the ears,

hunger eating away at the fears

Humor found in those tears

And if you have the capacity, the gift,

You’ll find a deficit of human cares.

 

Eyes don’t really show emotion.

Viscous fluid ain’t communion

Bedside union isn’t tender

Nor is breaking off your gender

You’re already a walking pile

Walk a mile, break my smile

Make the balance for a while

Dress the suit up in the style

Of the cross just down the aisle

In the island of the living

Dying is a sign of giving

Trying has no merit and in

Frowns are worried trembling

Desire that never disappears

Here, satisfy our inner beast

Addiction to the quiet feast

It’s clear that you can never hide

You are no virgin, blushing bride

 

 

Thunder pounds in the ears,

hunger eating away at the fears

Humor found in those tears

And if you have the capacity, the gift,

 You’ll find a deficit of human cares.

Who cares? Who cares?

Who dares try to prove me wrong

You know it’s been this way all along. 

Ingest In Jest (Sonnet)

A churning, turning act of eating,

The need of material for consumption,

All creatures worship love of feeding

To quench the thirst of satisfaction.

The fear of dire, quick starvation

Turns human to animal again and again.

Caloric need is just an equation,

The math that turns violent beast to man.

The mind sustains on nutritious energy.

An egg that is cracked without its strength

To soothe and provide for harmony

That a being goes for at any length.

Food is life if you are living.

We take all that the world is giving.

Words That Never Came

I’m not interested in the cosmos, god, eternal youth.
I’m not talking about the search for truth.
I’m talking about the search for connection.
Affection, perfection…
I’m talking about the moments when I forget how to talk
Emotional key and lock
The moments when I choke on “I love you’s”
“I don’t believe you’s” and “I accuse you’s.”
And they stay in my head because I’m too scared
To let a human know that I once cared
Just once, but it goes on forever.
I’m not that fickle.
I haven’t forgotten that we all say things we don’t mean.
Words that are mean, obscene, and sweet.
Words we want to hear, words we need to hear
Are the words that we most fear
Form together to make a thought
Caught on my tongue but I try to express through my eyes
Help me.
Oh god, help me.
Being stuck in your own mind is the definition of insanity.
And I know how easy it is to abandon me
It is easy to be dumb and deaf.
Hard to help yourself
Hard to understand one another
To reach out to friends and brothers
I know we are all connected by blood
When we crawled out of the mud
We survived and shouted we would!
And I did.
I had overcome.
Embodied freedom
Jumped the chasm.
I’ve been at the bottom.
I can reach the top…
I can’t stop….
Hoping
Using words for coping
Someone once said that if you give hydrogen enough time then it will wonder where it came from.
I must be a bit weird.
Because I’m wondering where we are going
And when we get there, will we be alone?

Falling Out

Working towards harmonization
Hormonal matriculation
Contributing all oblivion
Not anything, nix
Annihilation is the only answer
Because what was sweet is now so bitter
Flutter, fade, try forget her.
Float away quick decay and recapture the day
When we realized there was nothing left to say.
My death, an expression
Aborted, abandoned, deteriorated mission
Expel the toxin. Kill the vermin.
Keep the sexual tension
Reminds me of what it means to be alive.
What you deprive me of. Enough.
Give it to me rough. Tie me up. Bring me down.
Take this picture to develop, show it to the town.
I memorized your hand, your hand I relinquish.
Burn my wish, emotionally famished
Starved, gone hungry, roadless journey
Marching neuron army
Bullets of thoughts
Fraught with frustration, rumination,
Realizing and rationalizing why
Who, what, where, oversimplify.
Occupy my matter.
“What’s the matter?”
“Nothing”
“Are you OK?”
“I’m fine.”
I’m lying.
Buying her a gift
Here it is, here it goes.
My death throes
I up and left.

A slender neck… (Sonnet)

A slender neck with which to reach the heavens,
To taste the vegetation of Eden.
The weak and small perish, the strong strengthens:
Creature well-versed in the rules of famine.
The ones below must raise their chins up high
In awe, the glory of prehistoric times
As they watched species fall, succumb and die
And sweet nectar travels north. How it climbs
With Darwin’s vertebrae embedded inside
And spotted fur like archipelagos.
Eyelashes batting, chest swelled in content stride
In Sahara grasses piled with bone’s echoes.
Crushed acacia scent from frightened calf
Treads the wise and proud beast of height: giraffe.

Poison (Villanelle)

Is her absence poison?
Does it infect your daily routine?
Who, besides yourself, has she chosen?

Could a chemical cure infatuation?
Is sleep the remedy to her love’s morphine?
Is her absence poison?

Who is to blame when it is over and done?
And you question why the she lit the gasoline?
Who, besides yourself, has she chosen?

Have you had enough of memories and maudlin?
Do you wish to return to the clean and pristine?
Is her absence poison?

Can you bear another face to be her foundation?
Does it pain you her heart is calm and serene?
Who, besides yourself, has she chosen?

Can you eat her soul until it is hidden?
Will you bury the thought of it till it’s unseen?
Is her absence poison?
Who, besides yourself, has she chosen?